by MURAKAMI
Haruki
translated by
Jay Rubin
Katagiri found a giant frog waiting for him in his apartment. It was powerfully built, standing over six feet tall on its hind legs. A skinny little man no more than five foot three, Katagiri was overwhelmed by the frogfs imposing bulk.
gCall me eFrog,fh said the frog in a clear, strong voice.
Katagiri stood rooted in the doorway, unable to speak.
gDonft be afraid. Ifm not here to hurt you. Just come and close the door. Please.h
Briefcase in his right hand, grocery bag with fresh vegetables and canned salmon cradled in his left arm, Katagiri didnft dare move.
gPlease, Mr. Katagiri, hurry and close the door, and take off your shoes.h
The sound of his own name helped Katagiri to snap out of it. He closed the door as ordered, set the grocery bag on the raised wooden floor, pinned the briefcase under one arm and untied his shoes. Frog gestured for him to take a seat at the kitchen table, which he did.
gI must apologize, Mr. Katagiri, for having barged in while you were out,h Frog said. gI knew it would be a shock for you to find me here. I but had no choice. How about a cup of tea? I thought you would be coming home soon, so I boiled some water.h
Katagiri still had his briefcase jammed under his arm. Somebodyfs playing a joke on me, he thought. Somebodyfs rigged himself up in this huge frog costume just to have fun with me. But he knew, as he watched Frog pour boiling water into the teapot, humming all the while, that these had to be the limbs and movements of a real frog. Frog set a cup of green tea in front of Katagiri and poured another one for himself.
Sipping his tea, Frog asked, gCalming down?h
But still Katagiri could not speak.
gI know I should have made an appointment to visit you, Mr. . Katagiri. I am fully aware of the proprieties. Anyone would be shocked to find a big frog waiting for him at home. But an urgent matter brings me here. Please forgive me.h
gUrgent matter?h Katagiri
managed to produce words
at
last.
gYes,
indeed,h
Frog
said. gWhy
else would
I take the liberty of barging into a
personfs
home? Such
discourtesy
is not my
customary
style.h
gDoes this
ematterf
have something to do with
me?h
gYes and
no.h Frog said with a tilt
of the head. g No
and yes.h
Ifve
got to get a
grip on myself thought Katagiri. gDo
you mind
if I
smoke?h
gNot at all, not at
all,h
Frog
said with a smile. gItfs
your
home. You donft have to
ask my
permission. Smoke and drink as
much as
you like. I myself am not a smoker,
but I can hardly impose my distaste for
tobacco on others in their own homes.h
Katagiri pulled a pack of
cigarettes from his coat pocket and struck a march. He saw his hand trembling as he lit
up. Seated opposite him,
Frog seemed to he studying his every movement.
gYou donft happen
to be connected with some kind of gang by any chance?h
Katagiri found the courage to ask.
gHa ha ha ha ha
ha! What
a wonderful
sense of humor you
have,
Mr. Katagiri!h Frog said,
slapping his webbed hand against his thigh. gThere may be a shortage of skilled
labor, but what
gang is going to
hire a frog to do their dirty work? Theyfd be made a
laughingstock.h
gWell, if
youfre
here to negotiate a repayment, youfre
wasting your time. I have no authority to make such
decisions. Only my superiors can
do that, I just follow
orders. I canft do
a thing
for you.h
gPlease, Mr.
Katagiri,h Frog
said,
raising one webbed
finger. gI have not come
here on such petty business. I am
fully aware
that you
are
Assistant Chief
of the lending
division of the Shinjuku branch of the
Tokyo Security Trust Bank. But my visit
has nothing to do
with the repayment of loans. I have
come here to
save Tokyo from
destruction.h
Katagiri scanned
the room for a hidden TV camera in case
he was
being made the burr of some huge, terrible joke. But there was no
camera. It was a small
apartment. There was no
place for
anyone to
hide.
gNo,h Frog said. gWe are the only
ones here. I know you
are thinking that I
must be mad or that you are
having some kind
of dream, but I
am not crazy and you are not dreaming.
This is
absolutely,
positively serious.h
gTo tell you the
truth,
Mr. . Frog--.h
gPlease,h Frog said,
raising one finger again.
gCall
me eFrogf.h
gTo tell you the
truth,
Frog,h
Katagiri said, gI
canft quite
understand what
is going on here Itfs not that I donft trust you, but
I donft
seem to be able to grasp the
situation
exactly. Do you mind if I ask you a
question or
two?h
gNot at all, not
at all,h Frog
said. gMutual
understanding is of
critical
importance. There are those who say that
eunderstandingf is merely the
sum total of our misunderstandings, and
while I do
find this view interesting in its own way, I am afraid
we have
no time
to spare on pleasant digressions.
The
best
thing would
be for us to achieve mutual understanding via the shortest possible route. Therefore, by all means, ask as many
questions as you
wish.h
gNow; you are a real
frog, am I
right?h
gYes,
of course,
as you can
see. A real frog is
exactly what I
am. A product neither of metaphor
nor allusion nor deconstruction nor sampling
nor any other such complex process, I am
a genuine
frog. Shall I croak for
you?h
Frog
tilted back his head and flexed
the muscles of his huge throat
Ribit,
Ri-i-i-bit, Ribit ribit ribit Ribit Ribit Ri-i-i bit. His
gigantic croaks rattled the
pictures hanging on the walls.
gFine, I see, I
see!h
Katagiri said, worried about
the thin
walls of
the cheap apartment house in which he
lived. gThatfs
great. You are, without
question a
real frog.h
gOne
might also say that I am the sum total of all frogs.
Nonetheless,
this does nothing to change the fact that I am a frog. Anyone claiming that I am not a
frog would be a dirty liar. I would
smash such a person to bits!h
Katagiri
nodded. Hoping to calm
himself, he picked up his cup and
swallowed a mouthful of tea. gYou said before that you have come here
to save Tokyo from destruction?h
gThat is what I
said.h
gWhat
kind of
destruction?h
gEarthquake,h Frog said with
the utmost
gravity.
Mouth
dropping open, Katagiri looked
at Frog. And Frog, saying nothing,
looked at Katagiri. They went on staring at each other like
this for some time. Next it was
Frogfs turn to open his
mouth.
gA
very, very big earthquake. It is
set to strike Tokyo at 8:30 A.M. on February 18.
Three days from
now. A much
bigger earthquake than the one
that struck
Kobe last
month. The
number of
dead from such a quake would probably exceed 150,000—mostly from
accidents involving the commuter system: derailments, falling vehicles,
crashes, the collapse of elevated expressways and rail
lines, the crushing of subways, the
explosion
of tanker
trucks. Buildings will be
transformed into piles of rubble, their inhabitants crushed to
death. Fires everywhere,
the road
system in a stare of collapse, ambulances and
fire trucks
useless, people
just lying there, dying. One
hundred and fifty thousand of
them!
Pure
hell. People will be
made to realize what
a fragile
condition
the intensive collectivity known as ecityf
really is.h Frog said this
with a gentle shake of the bead.
gThe epicenter will be close to the Shinjuku ward office.h
gClose to the
Shinjuku ward office?h
gTo
be precise, it will hit directly beneath the Shinjuku branch of the Tokyo
Security
Trust Bank.h
A
heavy silence followed.
gAnd
you,h
Katagiri said, gare
planning to stop this earthquake?h
gExactlyh Frog said,
nodding. gThat is exactly what I
propose to
do. You and I will go underground
beneath the Shinjuku
branch of the
Tokyo Security Trust Bank to do
mortal combat
with
Worm.h
* * * * *
*
As a member of
the Trust Bank
lending division, Katagiri
had fought his way
through many a battle.
He had weathered
sixteen years
of daily combat since the day he graduated from the university and joined the
bankfs
staff. He was, in a
word, a collection officer-- a post that won
him little popularity. Everyone
in his division
preferred to make
loans, especially at the time of the bubble. They had so much money in those days that
almost any
likely piece of
collateral--be it land or
stock--was
enough to convince loan officers to give away
whatever they were asked for, the bigger the
loan the better their reputations in the company. Some loans, though, never made it back
to the bank: They got
gstuck to the
bottom of the pan.h It was Katagirifs job to
take care
of those. And when the bubble burst, the work piled
on. First stock prices fell,
and
then land
values, and collateral
lost all
significance. gGet out there,h his boss
commanded him, gand squeeze whatever you
can out of
them.h
The
Kabukicho
neighborhood
of Shinjuku was a
labyrinth
of violence:
old-time gangsters,
Korean
mobsters, Chinese
Mafia, guns
and drugs, money flowing
beneath the surface
from one murky
den to another, people vanishing
every now and then
like puffs of
smoke. Plunging into Kabukicho to
collect a bad debt,
Katagiri had
been surrounded
more than
once by mobsters threatening
to kill
him, but he
had never been
frightened. What good would
it have done
them to kill
one man
running around for the
bank?
They
could stab
him if they
wanted to. They could beat
him
up. He was
perfect for the job: no wife, no
kids, both parents
dead, a brother
and sister he had
put through college
married off. So
what if
they
killed him? It
wouldnft change anything for anybody—least of all for Katagiri
himself.
It
was not
Katagiri but the thugs surrounding him who got nervous
when they saw him so
calm and
cool. He soon
earned a kind of
reputation in their world as a tough guy.
Now, though, the
tough Katagiri was at a total loss.
What the hell was this frog
talking about?
gWorm? Who
is
Worm?h he asked with some hesitation.
gWorm lives
underground. He is a gigantic worm. When he gets angry, he
causes earthquakes,h
Frog
said. gAnd right now he is very,
very angry.h
gWhat
is he angry about?h Katagiri asked.
gI
have no idea,h Frog said.
gNobody knows
what Worm is thinking inside that murky head of his. Few have ever seen him. He is usually asleep. Thatfs what he really likes to do: take
long, long naps. He goes on
sleeping for years—decades—in the warmth and darkness underground. His eyes, as you might imagine, have
atrophied, his brain has turned to jelly as he sleeps. If you ask me, Ifd guess he probably
isnft thinking anything at all, just lying there and feeling every little rumble
and reverberation that comes his way, absorbing them into his body and storing
them up. And then, through some
kind of chemical process, he replaces most of them with rage. Why this happens I have no idea. I could never explain
it.h
Frog
fell silent watching Katagiri and waiting until his words had sunk in. Then he went on: gPlease donft
misunderstand me, though. I feel no
personal animosity toward Worm. I
donft see him as the embodiment of evil.
Not that I would want to be his friend, either: I just think that as far
as the world is concerned, it is, in a
sense, all
right for a being like him to exist.
The world is like a great big overcoat, and it needs pockets of various
shapes and sizes. But right at the
moment, Worm has reached the point where he is too dangerous to ignore. With all the different kinds of hatred
he has absorbed and stored inside himself over the years, his heart and body
have swollen to gargantuan proportions—bigger than ever before. And to make matters worse, last monthfs
Kobe earthquake shook him out of the deep sleep he was enjoying. He experienced a revelation inspired by
his profound rage: It was time now for him, too, to cause a massive earthquake,
and hefd do it here, in Tokyo. I
know what Ifm talking about, Mr. Katagiri: I have received reliable information
on the timing and scale of the earthquake from some of my best bug
friends.h
Frog
snapped his mouth shut and closed his round eyes in apparent
fatigue.
gSo
what youfre saying is,h Katagiri said, gthat you and I have to go underground
together and fight Worm to stop the earthquake.h
gExactly.h
Katagiri reached
for his cup of tea, picked it up and put it back. gI still donft get it,h he said. gWhy did you choose me to go with
you?h
Frog
looked straight into Katagirifs eyes and said gI have always had the profoundest
respect for you, Mr. Katagiri. For
sixteen long years, you have silently accepted the most dangerous, least
glamorous assignments—the jobs that others have avoided—and you have carried
them off beautifully. I know full
well how difficult this has been for you, and I do not believe that either your
superiors or your colleagues properly appreciate your accomplishments. They are blind, the whole lot of
them. But you, unappreciated and
unpromoted, have never once complained.
gNor
is it simply a matter of your work.
After your parents died you raised your teenage brother and sister
single-handedly, put them through college and even arranged for them to
marry, all
at great sacrifice of your time and income, and at the expense of your own
marriage prospects. In spite of
this, your brother and sister have never once expressed
gratitude for your efforts on their behalf. Far from it. They have shown you no respect and acted
with the most callous disregard for your loving kindness. In my opinion, their behavior is
unconscionable. I almost wish I
could beat them to a pulp on your behalf.
But you, meanwhile, show no trace of anger.
gTo
be quite honest, Mr. Katagiri, you are nothing much to look at, and you are far
from eloquent, so you tend to be looked down upon by those around you. I, however, can see what a sensible and
courageous man you are. In all of
Tokyo, with its teeming millions, there is no one else I could trust as much as
you to fight by my side.h
gTell
me, Mr. Frog,h Katagiri said.
gPlease,h Frog
said, raising one finger again.
gCall me eFrogf.h
gTell
me, Frog,h Katagiri said, ghow do you know so much about
me?h
eWell, Mr.
Katagiri, I have not been frogging all these years for nothing. I keep my eye on the important things in
life.h
gBut
still, Frog,h Katagiri said. gIfm
not particularly strong, and I donft know anything about whatfs happening
underground. I donft have the kind
of muscle it will take to fight Worm in the darkness.
Ifm sure you can
find somebody a lot stronger than me—a man who does karate, say, or a
Self-Defense Forces
commando.h
Frog
rolled his large eyes. gTell you
the truth, Mr. Katagiri,h he said, gIfm the one who will do all the
fighting. But I canft do it
alone. This is the key thing: I
need your courage and your passion for justice. I need you to stand behind me and say,
eWay to go, Frog! Youfre doing great! I know you can win! Youfre fighting the
good fight!fh
Frog
opened his arms wide, then slapped his webbed hands down on his knees
again.
gIn
all honesty, Mr. Katagiri, the thought of fighting Worm in the dark frightens
me, too. For many years I lived as
a pacifist, loving art, living with nature. Fighting is not something I like to
do. I do it because I have to. And this particular fight will be a
fierce one; that is certain. I may
not return from it alive. I may
lose a limb or two in the process.
But I cannot—I will not-run away.
As Nietzsche said, the highest wisdom is to have no fear. What I want from you, Mr. Katagiri, is
for you to share your simple courage with me, to support me with your whole
heart as a true friend. Do you
understand what I am trying to tell you?h
None
of this made any sense to Katagiri, but still he felt that—unreal as it
sounded—he could believe whatever Frog said to him. Something about Frog—the look on his
face, the way he spoke—had a simple honesty that appealed directly to the
heart. After years of work in the
toughest division of the Security Trust Bank, Katagiri possessed the ability to
sense such things. It was all but
second nature to him.
gI
know this must be difficult for you, Mr. Katagiri. A huge frog comes barging into your
place and asks you to believe all these outlandish things. Your reaction is perfectly natural. And so I intend to provide you with
proof that I exist. Tell
me, Mr. Katagiri: you
have been having a great deal of trouble recovering a loan the bank made to Big
Bear Trading, have you not?h
gThatfs true,h
Katagiri said.
gWell, they have
a number of extortionist working behind the scenes, and those individuals are
mixed up with the mobsters. Theyfre
scheming to make the company go bankrupt and get out of its debts. Your bankfs loan officer shoved a pile
of cash at them without a decent background check, and, as usual, the one whofs
left to clean up after him is you, Mr. Katagiri. But youfre having a hard time sinking
your teeth into these fellows: Theyfre no pushovers. And there may be a powerful politician
backing them up. Theyfre into you
for 700 million. That is the
situation you are dealing with, am I right?h
gYou
certainly are.h
Frog
stretched his arms out wide, his big green webs opening like pale wings. gDonft worry, Mr. Katagiri. Leave everything to me. By tomorrow morning, old Frog will have
your problems solved. Relax and
have a good nightfs sleep.h
With
a big smile on his face, Frog stood up.
Then, flattening himself like a dried squid, he slipped out through the
gap at the side of the closed door, leaving Katagiri all alone. The two teacups on the kitchen table
were the only indication that Frog had ever been in Katagirifs
apartment.
* * * * *
*
The moment Katagiri
arrived at work the next morning at nine, the phone on his desk
rang.
gMr. Katagiri,h said
a manfs voice. It was cold and
businesslike. gMy name is
Shiraoka. Ifm an attorney with the
Big Bear case. I received a call
from my client this morning with regard to the pending loan matter. He wants you to know that he will take
full responsibility for returning the entire amount requested, by the due
date. He will also give you a
signed memorandum to that effect.
His only request is that you do not send Frog to his home again. I repeat: He wants you to ask Frog never
to visit his home again. Ifm not
entirely sure what this is supposed to mean, but I believe it should be clear to
you, Mr. Katagiri. Am I
correct?h
gYou
are indeed.h Katagiri said.
gYou
will be kind enough to convey my message to Frog, I
trust.h
gThat
I will do. Your client will never
see Frog again.h
gThank you very
much. I will prepare the memorandum
for you by tomorrow.h
gI
appreciate it,h Katagiri
said.
The
connection was cut.
Frog
visited Katagiri in his Trust Bank office at lunchtime. gI assume that Big Bear case is working
out well for you?h
Katagiri glanced
around uneasily.
gDonft worry,h
Frog said. gYou are the only one
who can see me. But now I am sure
you realize I actually exist. I am
not a product of your imagination.
I can take action and produce results. I am a living
being.h
gTell
me, Mr. Frog,h Katagiri
said.
gPlease,h Frog
said, raising one finger, gcall me
eFrog.fh
gTell
me, Frog,h Katagiri said. gWhat did
you do to them?h
gOh,
nothing much,h Frog said. gNothing
much more complicated than boiling Brussels sprouts. I just gave them a little scare. A touch of psychological terror. As Joseph Conrad once wrote, true terror
is the kind that men feel toward their imagination. But never mind that, Mr. . . Katagiri. Tell me about the Big Bear case. It is working out well, I
assume?h
Katagiri nodded
and lit a cigarette. gSeems to
be.h
gSo,
then, have I succeeded in gaining your trust with regard to the matter I
broached to you last night? Will you join me to fight against
Worm?h
Sighing,
Katagiri removed his glasses and wiped them. gTo tell you the truth, I am not too
crazy about the idea, but I donft suppose thatfs enough to get me out of
it.h
gNo,h
Frog said. gIt is a matter of
responsibility and honor. You may
not be etoo crazyf about the idea, but we have no choice: You and I must go
underground and face Worm. If we
should happen to lose our lives in the process, we will gain no onefs
sympathy. And even if we manage to
defeat Worm, no one will praise us.
No one will ever know that such a battle even raged far beneath their
feet. Only you and I will know, Mr.
Katagiri. However it turns out,
ours will be a lonely battle.h
Katagiri looked
at his own hand for a while, then watched the smoke rising from his
cigarette. Finally, he spoke. gYou know Mr. Frog, Ifm just an ordinary
person.h
gMake
that eFrog,f please,h Frog
said, but Katagiri let it go.
gIfm
an absolutely ordinary guy. Less
than ordinary. Ifm going bald, Ifm
getting a potbelly, I turned 40 last month. My feet are flat. The doctor told me recently that I have
diabetic tendencies. Itfs been
three months or more since I last slept with a woman—and I had to pay for
it. I do get some recognition
within the division for my ability to collect on loans, but no real
respect. I donft have a single
person who likes me, either at work or in my private life. I donft know how to talk to people, and
Ifm bad with strangers, so I never make friends. I have no athletic ability, Ifm
tone-deaf, short, phimotic, nearsighted—and astigmatic. I live a horrible life. All I do is eat,
s1eep and shit. I donft know why
Ifm even living. Why should a
person like me have to be the one to save Tokyo?h
gBecause, Mr..
Katagiri, Tokyo can only be saved by a person like you. And itfs for people like you that I am
tying to save Tokyo.h
Katagiri sighed
again, more deeply this time. gAll
right, then, what do you want me to do?h
* * * * *
*
Frog told Katagiri his
plan. They would go underground on
the night of February 17 (one day before the earthquake was scheduled to
happen). Their way in would be
through the basement boiler room of the Shinjuku branch of the Tokyo Security
Trust Bank. They would meet there
late at night (Katagiri would stay in the building on the pretext of working
overtime). Behind a section of wall
was a vertical shaft, and they would find Worm at the bottom by climbing down a
150-foot rope ladder.
gDo
you have a battle plan in mind?h Katagiri asked.
gOf
course I do. We would have no hope
of defeating an enemy like Worm without a battle plan. He is a slimy creature: You canft tell
his mouth from his anus. And he is
as big as a commuter train.h
gWhat
is your battle plan?h
After
a thoughtful pause Frog answered, gHmm, what is it they say—fSilence is
golden?h
gYou
mean I shouldnft ask?h
gThatfs one way
of putting it.h
gWhat
if I get scared at the last minute and run away? Whet would you do then, Mr.
Frog?h
geFrogf.h
gFrog. What would you do
then?h
Frog
thought about this awhile and answered, gI would fight on alone. My chances of beating him by myself are
perhaps just slightly better than Anna Kareninafs chances of beating that
speeding locomotive. Have you read
Anna Karenina, Mr.. Katagiri?h
When he heard that Katagiri had
not read the novel, Frog gave him a look as if to say gWhat
a shame.h Apparently, Frog was very fond of Anna
Karenina.
gStill, Mr.
Katagiri, I do not believe that you will leave me to fight alone. I can tell. Itfs a question of balls—which,
unfortunately, I do not happen to possess.
Ha ha ha ha.h Frog laughed with his mouth wide open. Balls were not all that Frog
lacked. He had no teeth
either.
* * * * *
*
Unexpected things do
happen, however.
Katagiri was
shot on the evening of February 17.
He had finished his rounds for the day and was walking down the street in
Shinjuku on his way back to the Trust Bank when a young man in a leather jacket
leaped in front of him. The manfs
face was a blank, and be gripped a small black gun in one hand. The gun was so small and so black that
it hardly looked real. Katagiri
stared at the object in the manfs hand, not registering the fact that it was
aimed at him and that the man was pulling the trigger. It all happened too quickly: It didnft
make sense to him. But the
gun, in
fact, went
off.
Katagiri saw the
barrel jerk in the air and, at the same moment, felt an impact as though someone
had struck his right shoulder with a sledgehammer. He felt no pain, but the blow sent him
sprawling on the sidewalk. The
leather briefcase in his right hand went flying in the other direction. The man aimed the gun at him again. A second shot rang out. A small eateryfs sidewalk signboard
exploded before his eyes. He heard
people screaming. His glasses had
flown off, and everything was a blur.
He was vaguely aware that the man was approaching with the pistol pointed
at him. Ifm going to die, he
thought. Frog had said
that true terror is the kind men feel toward their
imagination.
Katagiri cut the
switch of his imagination and sank into a weightless
silence.
* * * * *
*
When he woke up, he
was in bed. He opened one eye, took
a moment to survey his surroundings and then opened the other eye. The first thing that entered his field
of vision was a metal stand by the head of the bed and an intravenous feeding
tube that stretched from the stand to where he lay. Next he saw a nurse dressed in
white. He realized he was lying on
his back on a hard bed and wearing some strange piece of clothing under which he
seemed to be naked.
Oh
yeah, he thought, I was walking along the sidewalk when some guy shot me. Probably in the shoulder. The right one. He relived the scene in his mind. When he remembered the small black gun
in the young manfs hand, his heart made a disturbing thump. The sons of bitches were trying to kill
me! he thought. But it looks as if
I made it through OK. My memory is
fine. I donft have any pain. And not just pain: I donft have any
feeling at all. I canft lift my
armc..
The
hospital room had no windows. He
could not tell whether it was day or night. He had been shot just before five in the
evening. How much time had passed
since then? Had the hour of
his nighttime rendezvous with Frog gone by? Katagiri searched the room for a
clock, but without his glasses he could see nothing at a
distance.
gExcuse me,h he
called to the nurse.
gOh,
good. Youfre finally awake,h the
nurse said.
gWhat
time is it?h
She
glanced at her watch.
gNine-fifteen.h
gP.M.?h
gDonft be silly;
itfs morning!h
gNine-fifteen
A.M.?h
Katagiri groaned, barely managing to lift his head from the pillow. The ragged noise that emerged from his
throat sounded like someone elsefs voice.
gNine-fifteen A.M. on February 18?h
gRight,h the
nurse said, lifting her arm once more to check the date on her digital
watch. gToday is February 18,
1995.h
gWasnft there a
big earthquake in Tokyo this morning?h
gIn
Tokyo?h
gIn
Tokyo.h
The
nurse shook her head. gNot as far
as I know.h
He
breathed a sigh of relief. Whatever
had happened, the earthquake at least had been averted.
gHowfs my wound
doing?h
gYour
wound?h she asked. gWhat
wound?h
gWhere I was
shot.h
gShot?h
gYeah, near the
entrance to the Trust Bank. Some
young guy shot me. In the right
shoulder, I think.h
The
nurse flashed a nervous smile in his direction. gIfm sorry, Mr. Katagiri, but you
havenft been shot.h
gI
havenft? Are you sure?h
gAs sure as I am
that there was no earthquake this
morning.h
Katagiri was
stunned. gThen what the hell am I
doing in a
hospital?h
gSomebody found
you lying in the street,
unconscious. In the Kabukicho
neighborhood of Shinjuku. You
didnft have any
external
wounds. You were just out
cold. And we still
havenft figured
out why. The doctorfs going to be here soon. Youfd better talk to
him.h
Lying
in the street unconscious? Katagiri was sure he had seen the pistol
go off, aimed at him.
He took a deep
breath and
tried to get his
head straight. He would start by
putting
all the
facts in order.
gWhat youfre
telling me
is, Ifve been
lying in
this hospital bed,
unconscious,
since
early evening
yesterday, is that right?h
gRight,h the nurse
said. gAnd you had a really bad
night,
Mr. Katagiri. You must have had some
awful nightmares.
I heard you
yelling, eFrog! Hey,
Frog!f You did it
a lot. You have a friend nicknamed
Frog?h
Katagiri closed
his eyes and listened to the
slow,
rhythmic beating of
his heart as
it ticked off the
minutes of his life.
How
much of
what he
remembered had actually happened and how
much was hallucination? Did Frog really exist, and had Frog fought with Worm
to put a
stop to the
earthquake? Or
had that just been part of a long dream?
Katagiri had
no idea what was
true
anymore.
* * * * *
*
Frog came to his hospital room that night. Katagiri awoke to find him in the dim light, sitting on a steel folding chair, his back against the wall. Frogfs big, bulging eyelids were closed in straight slits.
gFrog,h Katagiri called out to him.
Frog slowly opened his eyes. His big white stomach swelled and shrank with his breathing. gI meant to meet you in the boiler room at night the way I promised,h Katagiri said, gbut I had an accident in the evening--something totally unexpected--and they brought me here.h
Frog gave his head a slight shake. gI know. Itfs OK. Donft worry. You were a great help to me in my fight, Mr. Katagiri.h
gI was?h
gYes, you were. You did a great job in your dreams. Thatfs what made it possible for me to fight Worm to the finish. I have you to thank for my victory.h
gI donft get it,h Katagiri said. gI was unconscious the whole time. They were feeding me intravenously. I donft remember doing anything in my dream.h
gThatfs fine, Mr. Katagiri. Itfs better that you donft remember. The whole terrible fight occurred in the area of imagination. That is the precise location of our battlefield. It is there that we experience our victories and our defeats. Each and every on of us is a being of limited duration: All of us eventually go down to defeat. But as Ernest Hemingway saw so clearly, the ultimate value of our lives is decided not by how we win but by how we lose. You and I together, Mr. Katagiri, were able to prevent the annihilation of Tokyo. We saved 150,000 people from the jaws of death. No one realizes it, but that is what we accomplished.h
gHow did we manage to defeat Worm? And what did I do?h
gWe gave everything we had in a fight to the bitter end. We--h Frog snapped his mouth shut and took one great breath. gWe used every weapon we could get our hands on, Mr. Katagiri. We used all the courage we could muster. Darkness was our enemyfs ally. You brought in a foot-powered generator and used every ounce of your strength to fill the place with light. Worm tried to frighten you away with phantoms of the darkness, but you stood your ground. Darkness vied with light in a horrific battle, and in the light I grappled with the monstrous Worm. He coiled himself around me and bathed me in his horrid slime. I tore him to shreds, but still he refused to die. All he did was divide into smaller pieces. And then...h
Frog fell silent, but soon, as if dredging up his last ounce of strength, he began to speak again. gFyodor Dostoevsky, with unparalleled tenderness, depicted those who have been forsaken by God. He discovered the precious quality of human existence in the ghastly paradox whereby men who have invented God were forsaken by that very God. Fighting with Worm in the darkness, I found myself thinking of Dotoevskyfs eWhite Knights.f I...h Frogfs words seemed to founder. gMr. Katagiri, do you mind if I take a brief nap? I am utterly exhausted.h
gPlease,h Katagiri said. gTake a good, deep sleep.h
gI was finally unable to defeat Worm,h Frog said, closing his eyes. gI did manage to stop the earthquake, but I was only able to carry our battle to a draw. I inflicted injury on him, and he on me. But to tell you the truth, Mr. Katagiri...h
gWhat is it, Frog?h
gI am, indeed, pure Frog, but at the same time I am a thing that stands for a world of un-Frog.h
gHmm, I donft get that at all.h
gNeither do I,h Frog said, his eyes still closed. gItfs just a feeling I have. What you see with your eyes is not necessarily real. My enemy is, among other things, the me inside me. Inside me is the un-me. My brain is growing murky. The locomotive is coming. But I really want you to understand what I am saying, Mr. Katagiri.h
gYoufre tired, Frog. Go to sleep. Youfll get better.h
gI am slowly returning to the murk, Mr. Katagiri. And yet...I...h
Frog lost his grasp on words and slipped into a coma. His arms hung down almost to the floor, and his big, wide mouth drooped open. Straining to focus his eyes, Katagiri was able to make out deep cuts covering Frogfs entire body. Discolored streaks ran through his skin, and there was a sunken spot on his head where the flesh had been torn away.
Katagiri stared long and hard at Frog, who sat there now wrapped in the thick cloak of sleep. As soon as I get out of this hospital, he thought, Ifll buy Anna Karenina and gWhite Nightsh and read them both. Then Ifll have a nice, long literary discussion about them with Frog.
Before long, Frog began to twitch all over. Katagiri assumed at first that these were just normal involuntary movements in sleep, but he soon realized his mistake. There was something unnatural about the way Frogfs body went on jerking, like a big doll being shaken by someone from behind. Katagiri held his breath and watched. He wanted to run over to Frog, but his own body remained paralyzed.
After a while, a big lump formed over Frogfs right eye. The same kind of huge, ugly boil broke out on Frogfs shoulder and side and then over his whole body. Katagiri could not imagine what was happening to Frog. He stared at the spectacle, barely breathing.
Then, all of a sudden, one of the boils burst with a loud pop. The skin flew off, and a sticky liquid oozed out, sending a horrible smell across the room. The rest of the boils started popping, one after another, twenty or thirty in all, flinging skin and fluid onto the walls. The sickening, unbearable smell filled the hospital room. Big black holes were left on Frogfs body where the boils had burst, and wriggling, maggot-like worms of all shapes and sizes came crawling out. Puffy white maggots. After them emerged some kind of small, centipede-like creatures, whose hundreds of legs made a creepy rustling sound. An endless stream of these things came crawling out of the holes. Frogfs body--or the thing that had once been Frogfs body--was totally covered by these creatures of the night. His two big eyeballs fell from their sockets onto the floor, where they were devoured by black bugs with strong jaws. Crowds of slimy worms raced each other up the walls to the ceiling, where they covered the fluorescent lights and burrowed into the smoke alarm.
The floor, too, was covered with worms and bugs. They climbed up the lamp and blocked the light, and, of course, they crept onto Katagirifs bed. Hundreds of them came burrowing under the covers. They crawled up his legs, under his bed gown, between his thighs. The smallest worms and maggots crawled inside his anus and ears and nostrils. Centipedes pried open his mouth and crawled inside, one after another. Filled with an intense despair, Katagiri screamed.
Someone snapped a switch and light filled the room.
gMr. Katagiri!h called the nurse. Katagiri opened his eyes to the light. His body was soaked in sweat. The bugs were gone. All they had left behind in him was a horrible, slimy sensation.
gAnother bad dream, eh? Poor dear.h With quick, efficient movements, the nurse readied an injection and stabbed the needle into his arm.
He took a long, deep breath and let it out. His heart was expanding and contracting violently.
gWhat were you dreaming about?h
Katagiri was having trouble differentiating dream from reality. gWhat you see with your eyes is not necessarily real,h he told himself aloud.
gThatfs so true,h the nurse said with a smile. gEspecially where those dreams are concerned.h
gFrog,h he murmured.
gDid something happen to Frog?h she asked.
gHe saved Tokyo from being destroyed by an earthquake. All by himself.h
gThatfs nice,h the nurse said, replacing his near-empty intravenous-feeding bottle with a new one. gWe donft need any more awful things happening in Tokyo. We have plenty already.h
gBut it cost him his life. Hefs gone. I think he went back to the murk. Hefll never come here again.h
Smiling, the nurse toweled the sweat from his forehead. gYou were very fond of Frog, werenft you, Katagiri?h
gLocomotive,h Katagiri mumbled. gMore than anybody.h Then he closed his eyes and sank into a restful, dreamless sleep.