Farts stories

Everyone must have at least one stories of farting.
The fart game
The fart sounds
The fart bulletine board
The fart techniques
The illustrator of this page
The fart studies
The fart poems
The fart goods
From the manager

Farts contains a lot of stories.

The Fart Bottle
  In the childhood, I believe, everyone is thinking of making a fart bottle.
The fart bottle is a bottle filled with fart.

  There was no exception for me.
I was always wondering if I could make the fabulous bottle.
I thought to myself "If I make the fart bottle, 
I can make people smell my farts anytime. It' so cool!" 
It was the time when I was in the fourth grade.
In those days, the star sand was really popular in Japan.
The star sand is the sand each grain of which is star-shaped,
and was sold filled in a little bottle at that time. 
My sister kept one, but she threw it away in her room
because she lost any interest of it.
I found it and put it in my pocket secretly.

  The bottle was corked, and 4 cm height. 
I exclaimed with joy "That's it. That's it."
Immediately, I made up my mind to invent the fart bottle
that I had been longed for.
I picked the cork jar, throw the sand away, 
farted into the empty bottle, and corked quickly.
This bottle was the marvelous one than I had expected. 
I jumped with joy again and again.
I made one and smelled it repeatedly many times.
However, soon I came to think that
I wanted the others to taste this bottle,
and I managed to do it.
As I expected, everyone got disgusted,
and frowned, which delighted me. 
My cousin, who was two years younger than I,
got excited with my invention of this bottle.

  It was not so long before I wanted to improve it:
I wanted more powerful smell, and wanted to
fill farts 100 % in a bottle.
I tried and tried. Finally I came to a conclusion:
When I made the bottle, I wore a pair of trousers.
They prevented the fart from getting into
the bottle to some degree.
Then, putting the bottle on my ass directly is the answer!!
At last, my dream came true.
I got it. I got the perfect bottle.
I told my cousin about the bottle,
when he came to my house again.
Sure enough. He said "I want to try it."
And he did.
"Great, great invention!!
Marvelous!! Pure fart, isn't it!?
It really stinks. Great!! "
He seemed to be moved very much.

  But I have to confess the fact that
the bottle still stinks after the farts inside
came out of the bottle fully.
The stink he smelled is not of the fart,
but of my ass.

Farts? ....Feces!
  This is the stories from my father.
When my father came home, he said at dinner time
"Did you want to hear my funny story?" 

"Yes, go ahead, Dad."

"O.K. I'll. Listen to me.
An elderly man who worked with me at my office
was absent from company.
It was strange for him not to say he will be 
absent in advance. 
He was rarely absent without telling 
by the previous day.
So, we wondered what happened to him.

  Today he told us why he was absent yesterday.
He got on the train to go to company.
In the train he felt like fart.
And he blasted his fart with full power.
How stupid of him!
He stools a little unexpectedly.
He got off the bus and dashed to the rest room.
Then he got on the bus again to come home.
When we heard this story from him,
we burst into laugh.

  But he insisted and said
"You all laughed at me,
but if you grow older,
everyone made such a mistake!

We laughed again!"

After hearing this story,
I thought I don't want to grow older.

Farts and Dogs
  Dogs have much stronger sense of smell than human.
Then what happened if they smell the fart?
What do you think of this question?

  I experimented on my dog, John.
I expected he ran away or barked.
But his reaction was totally different.

  John usually comes running to me when I come home.
He bites my hand or a bag, and jumps at me with his tail waving. 
He loves me and I loves him.

  On the very day, he dashed to me and bite my holdings.
I played with him some time and when his face approached
my hip, I farted.
Boo! Yes! A big one! I got it!

  When he heard the sound, he got very surprised.
He stopped, and got alert for something.
As you know, he was surprised at rather the sound
than the smell of my fart.
Where does it come?
What is that sound?
I farted again.
He seriously looked around many times.

  For the dogs, fart is a strange visitor.