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- Champion of all causes apeish - Lance Link has been accepted into BeerMonsters International as member #007APE
- An extended and heatedly charged.meeting of the BeerMonsters executive today voted to accept the eccentric and charismatic animal into its ranks as #007APE. The decision has infuriated more conservative members who have already dubbed the hairy fellow "Banana Smoothy". However in an exclusive interview #001 told international media;
- "We heartily (burp) embrace Lance Baby .. ha ha ha ... as a fellow of unimpeccable character. "Why I remember when the Central Storeman missplaced an entire pallette of Acapulko Squeezie, and the first on the scene to help locate it was Lance.
- "Within 3 ticks flat Lance (Smoothy) was gargling and rollicking after having found the goods hiding within the warehouse of our near neighbors - Crackers Inc!
- "We owe a lot to the Smoothy (Lance), and look forward to his attendance at tomorrows Brain Replacement Championships.
- BM Int. says "Three Beers for Lance"
bEERMONSTERATION "qUENCH cITY"