Beer to be made ILLEGAL!!!
Grand World President, Fuckyou O'Bummer, yesterday declared that possession, distribution and consumption of beer would be declared a terrorist offense under his preposed new 'Anti-Fun' bill.
The amiable but empty-suited puppet-president declared that if he (read 'they') has his evil way all members of the Crackatinnie tribe, Throwusacoldie family, Getitintoya clan, Ifeellikeatooheysortwo network, and all those having any connection to the aforementioned guzzlers would be thrown into the new Guantanimo (Haiti) and have their corkscrews surgically removed using blunt garden shears!
Needless to say, this has angered civil rights guzzlers who have vowed to innundate the White House with cheese and bacon flavoured vomit.
Stay tuned to Beermonsters International for more details on this breaking story.
Beermonsteration to be assessed as Olympic sport for Athens
'Bekka and Sammie - self admitted "BeerMonsters"
Latest information from member #472q indicates the likelyhood
of inclusion for Beermonsteration at the Athens Olympic Games in 2004.
Details of lobbying are at this stage sketchy, but full access to Beermonsters
Central Stores is likely to be made available to the "controlling body"
should this dynamic new sport be embraced.
Stay tuned for updates as they come to hand.
A genetically modified strain of beer hop has been found growing its way into the commercial beer system.
Recently identified genetically agressive strain ("Beer2000_1"),
unlike the normally passive regular species of hop, forces itself
( ? - ed ) into its intended victim. The new species is reported to be
attracted to the mucus
membranes in the mouth and actively and aggressively pours itself into the biosystem of its victims.
This amazing new beer hop variety has been seen doing its work in several pubs throughout Europe and central and south-east Asia.
A special task force (send resume to BM Central please) has been
set up by Beermonsters International to look further into this globally intoxicating dilemma.
please post any sighting and or knowledge you may have
about this virilant new beer phenomenon to BM headquarters
Report Mutant Beer
BeerMonsters are crying foul play after the sudden shutdown of their now infamous BeerMonsters website.
Around 2.23am yesterday the Beermonsters web site was
incapacitated, thus throwing numerous beerfolk into panic regarding their
future as a fun loving community.
There are numerous reports of foul players seen tampering with the server. Descriptions of the tamperers range from "men in black" to "WHERES WENDY WHEN YOU NEED HER?"
"This was bad!!!" stated the self proclaimed head of BeerMonsters, who commands attention from an estimated 24 million BeerMonster readers. "We vow to seek out and exchange pleasantries with the FXXXwits that did this!!!
The BeerMonsters server is now back online.
REGIONAL RAG SWALLOWS BEER BILGE
The "Bathurst Burp" article on the recent BeerMonster server failure has been included in this years BilgeMasters short list.
The "Burp" as it is known to Bathurst locals ran a story about the
deletion of the controversial website - BeerMonsters, which seems
to have greatly amused the judges at BilgeMasters. The story in question
was amongst the most "bilgeworthy" stories for the first quarter of 2000,
according to our scouces within BilgeMasters.
Primitive BeerShake Discovery
SYDNEY AUSTRALIA - Evidence of primitive Beerituals were uncovered early Saturday morning in Sydney's sleepy Lane Cove!!!
Whilst gardening in their suburban yard early saturday morning, two Sydneysiders unearthed detailed diagramatic portrayals of what seems to be a long forgotten greeting ritual.
BeerCentral is currently negotiating rights to publish the diagrams, which were skillfully carved into the side of an ancient type A Schinkelmopper Slab. Its believed the recordings were made using a blunt pair of tweezers and several bags of frozen "Chippes"
We hope to post images here within hours.
#029 FOUND LIVE
Elusive BeerLegend #029 seems to have been "Fingered"!!
See the #029 page for pics and details #029 LIVE LIVE LIVE